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DAVID MARCUS: At crafty No Kings rallies, the participants are the puppets
By David Marcus
Published March 29, 2026
I'll let you in on a little secret: In the performing arts, the most annoying people are puppeteers. This is because they make you look at their absurd creation of papier-mâché and then make you pretend it's the most important thing you have ever seen.
This is precisely what the "No Kings" protesters who take to American streets every few months represent. Even the ones holding insulting and crude signs instead of puppets demand to be taken seriously when they are anything but.
The very name of these protests is a farcical facade, a false mask of faux outrage, because President Donald Trump is not a king. It is an argument absurd on its face, because, trust me, if Trump were king, the GOP Senate would have broken the filibuster and passed the Save America Act by now.
A "No Kings" event in Hastings-on-Hudson, New York, on Saturday, March 28. (Fox News Digital)
If Trump were king, every Immigration Customs and Enforcement civilian worker would have been paid over the last month, instead of pinching pennies.
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I also imagine King Donald would have gotten a few more of his judicial appointments approved.
The notion that Trump just does whatever he wants is ridiculous. The man can’t use the men’s room without some Obama-appointed federal judge trying to block his access.
Let's take a look at some of the insane bloviations that the nation was treated to during Saturday’s cross-country protests.
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Here’s what Hollywood legend-turned old man yelling at clouds Robert De Niro had to say at the No Kings Day event in New York: "He can't do all the f---ed-up things that he's been doing without the collusion of Congress and the goons in his administration."
Protesters gather in Washington, D.C., for the No Kings Day protest on Oct. 18, 2025. (Fox News Digital/Emma Woodhead)
That doesn’t sound like much of an almighty king to me.
How about the congresswoman from Somalia, I’m sorry, Minneapolis, Ilhan Omar? This was her oddball take: "I could have never imagined the day would come when we were staring down at this kind of creeping authoritarianism."
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Once again, the nature of this so-called authoritarianism wasn’t explained.
And speaking of Somalis, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz chose to center them in his remarks, insisting, for some reason, that "we’ll never leave the side of Somali Minnesotans… your great-grandchildren will be here when that orange clown is in the dustbin of history."
Robert De Niro cried on Nicolle Wallace's "The Best People" podcast. (MS NOW YouTube channel)
This, of course, assumes that there is room in the dustbin of history next to Walz’s own political career, which was destroyed when he let his beloved Somali fraudsters steal billions from taxpayers.
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Let’s get back to this idea of puppets for a moment, because the No Kings protesters no longer just hold puppets, often of Trump doing something disgusting. They have literally now transformed into the puppets themselves.
The inflatable frog costume made fashionable in violent Portland anti-ICE riots, and a nod to the furry sexual fetish, have now become ubiquitous at No Kings rallies. The message of the costume is "How can something so silly and fun be dangerous?"
The rather obvious answer to that question is that when Democrats and the Left act like petulant children and refuse to fully fund Immigration and Customs Enforcement, innocent Americans like Loyola University student Sheridan Gorman are murdered by illegal immigrants.
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You never see any sad inflatable frogs at the funerals of our fallen.
In the end, everything about these No Kings protests is fake. Everything is a mask, everything is a puppet, because the central claim, that we are ruled by King Donald, isn’t just hyperbolic, it is divorced from reality.
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Sadly, notwithstanding the fictional nature of the central complaint of the No Kings protests, the Left does understand the value of big, in-person crowds, and they will continue to not just garner biased national media attention, but will also fire up the Democrats’ base.
This is why the news that the Republicans are moving closer to a midterm convention, with reports homing in on Dallas as a location, is welcome for conservatives.
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Though it is not in their nature, conservatives must have a greater footprint on the streets, and a convention is the perfect way to achieve that.
In the meantime, expect the inane puppetry of progressive protest to continue unabated, and for the puppets and the protesters to grow more and more angry and unhinged. Because as long as Donald Trump is president, crown, scepter and orb or not, these people will continue losing their minds.
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https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/david-marcus-crafty-no-kings-rallies-participants-puppets